Monday, March 17, 2008

Writing Exercise (Visualization)

Before the big breakdown and my husband lost his job, I was taking a writing class. That was back when I thought we could afford such things. I enjoyed the class. As part of the class, our teacher, Randall Wright, (author of Hunchback, A Hundred Days from Home, and The Silver Penny) gave us a writing exercise. It was a visualization. He had us close our eyes and walk into the woods. We came to a clearing. Then we were to write what we saw. Later, we added a smell and the emotion of sadness to the scene. Here's what I wrote.

A halo-shaped light shines through the trees into the clearing. The way the light filters and dances reminds me of what I’ve read of fairy rings and magic mushrooms. Walking through this forest, one can almost imagine that all the folktales are true: stories of little men and houses hidden in tree stumps. Fairies, maybe, woodland creatures that talk, and animals with magical powers. But then the light shifts and the magic is gone. I am old enough to know it was never there in the first place. There is only a part of me, tiny as a fleck of dust, that wants it to all be true.

            Those dreams of childhood that smell of strawberries and cream have dampened with age and cynicism. The air here smells both hearty and fruity, like rhubarb; tartness that all the sugar in the world won’t sweeten.

            I look again at the light dissolving. The halo that welcomed me has left. The shadows play alone. I turn to leave. I will never come here again. Not because I can’t, but because, like me, it will never, ever be the same. 


Damama T said...

I found this just a few moments ago and immediately thought of you. Please listen to it and know that even though I don't know you personally, I know something of the pain you feel. Please accept this as my way of saying, Don't give up - You are loved.

You have my phone number. Use it if you need or even just want to talk.

Damama T said...

God's looking out for you tonight. Back in January I ran across another post by a woman who was missing her mother. I'd forgotten all about it until just now when someone else commented on it and the note popped into my email... go check it out, please. PLEASE! It really does help to have others validate our feelings... It's here at Simplicity in the Suburbs


Catherine said...

Damama is an angel at your side.
I don't know you personally , either, but your posts moved me so much that it is as if I knew you.
Keep in touch with us all.
I love your writing exercise, especially the end which is a little bit melancholic. Emotion in words.